Feminist Praxis and Gender Dynamics

Society created socially constructed roles defining what it means to be a man, and to be a woman. In every household, in every country, in every culture, there are gender dynamics set in place. This idea affects us all directly, because the roles we assign as men and women are a learned behavior. According to Christie and Holly in the Threshold Concepts in Women’s and Gender Studies “Intersectionality is a theoretical framework that posits that multiple social categories (e.g., race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, social-economic status) intersect at the micro level of individual experience to reflect multiple interlocking systems of privilege and oppression at the macro social-structural level (e.g., racism, sexism, heterosexism, compulsory heterosexuality, heteronormativity, ableism)” (p. 114-115). With that being stated, it is unavoidable to face the conflict of oppression and privilege, to see ways the gender dynamics are placed in our day to day lives.

Gender dynamics in MY life…

                I would like to say that my partner and I share equal time working, doing chores around the house, and always see eye to eye. Laughing to myself, I recall a time we argued over his lack of chores around the house. “You think your fuckin superwomen” he said. “I am” I replied. Working, going to school, getting daughter up, dropping her off, picking her up, putting her to sleep, cleaning the whole house, taking dog out, etc.… His poor excuse for doing no laundry, dishes, floors, or anything else in the house was that he works. UGH! Why is it I must work AND do it ALL too? Going forward, he compares his physical labor in factory work to my JUST being a server/bartender at the time. It all boiled down to his expectations of me as a woman, my role in the relationship, in my work life, and in society as a whole.

Expectations of me as a woman are often made clear in my relationship. Parenting can be troublesome as well. There are times when I scold and discipline our daughter, or not give her what she wants. Well, let’s just say daddy is much more lenient, she could have ice cream for breakfast if she wants, you know what I mean? Great, now I’m the bad guy! I’m often setting the rules, and caring for the house, while he works, comes home, eats, and sleeps. The times daddy scolds her, she actually listens! I don’t understand the dynamics of that, but mommy isn’t taken seriously in the matter of discipline.

When considering my engagement in everyday activism I think of the many times I have spoken about never settling for less. Encouraging words to women who have suffered abuse, who have been wrongfully mistreated for reasons concerning their identities, and faced many other ways concerning privilege and oppression. I have never been a bystander in a case where there is misjudgment and mistreatment. Twice I have called out for an abuser to leave a women alone at a party and gotten my lip busted by a man one time, choked with a mans hands around my neck the other. I’ve seen an abuser raise his hands to my mother who was so drunk she couldn’t move, or defend herself, taken a knife to the man and demanded that he leave. I will always fight for rights, and the safety of women. Some might say I should reconsider the circumstances and my reactions, I say, it’s not happening in front of me, not while I’m around. I think I need to learn the techniques of the bystander intervention because its meant to teach men and women how to intervene without confrontation or danger. These techniques could be a very useful tool as a program offered to high-school and/or college students because many of us are affected by these situations first hand, or at least know someone who is.