EC Blog: HIMYM

So one of the prompts under the extra credit blogs where "Watch a film or TV show with a prominent love story and critique it using our disciplinary concepts.", which is awesome. I chose one of my favorite shows, How I Met Your Mother. Now, for any of you who have seen it, you know how it ends, does this count as a love story? Well, I'm not sure, SO I am going to critique several of the relationships shown throughout the series, I hope that is okay. Let's start out with one of my favorites- Marshall & Lilly
Their relationship has up's and down's much like any relationship of course. So, starting with a feminist stance, and how we see the gender roles played throughout their relationship. When the series first began, Marshall was going to school to be a lawyer (typical male job *groan*) and Lilly was a teacher...typical, right? But Marshall mentions in one of the episodes how bad he feels that Lilly was supporting him while he went to school, which I feel is not stereotypical for a female to do. Marshall is also a very emotional man, he has no problem crying and telling Lilly how he feels. He even sings her a goodnight song when she goes away for a trip. Although they do split up for a little while, there is no doubt that they were meant to be together.

Another stereotype the show has is Barney. He has a rule book and all the lies he tells women to get them to sleep with them, and I feel like they are trying to make him into a stereotypical man who only wants to hook up with women to have sex with them. However, there is a part in the series where he and Robin get together, and get married, which I feel like shows that even though he was a man whore, he was still able to settle down and find love for a little bit.

Another relationship we could look at would be Ted and his wife, who ends up dying in the end, can we even count that as a happy ending? I don't think so. BUT Ted does fall in love with Robin, and it shows throughout the whole series, he may be on the lookout to find his true love, but from the very first episode, he was all about Robin. He hosted a party just so that he could see her again, he stole a blue french horn for her. Ted was a romantic, and I feel like that is opposite of the normal gender stereotypes.

So throughout the series, I feel like they challenge and also support several gender stereotypes.

Also, pretty salty that they took it off Netflix.

E.C. Blog

This past week I had the opportunity to attend an event called Diversity Dialogues. I wasn't sure what to expect when I went but in the end it turned out to be insightful and an eye opener. In particular, one activity that really made me think and take a step back and examine who I really was as a person. This activity had us divide the paper in two columns and on one side it had I am and the other side I am not. As I was going thinking of what to write, I realized that it was quite hard. In a way, the only things that I could think of for the I am not was all stereotypes that I as an asian American face. We all were suppose to come up with five, and I could barely think of three. I think being female and asian definitely made me think of things that I didn't want to put on paper to share with others. The more I think of it most of them were quite negative and did follow the social construction of gender. Don't get me wrong, I do love myself and embrace my ethnicity, but these stereotypes do create obstacles that make others think of you differently. I left this activity really thinking who I am as a person and thinking, these things don't define me as a person. My decisions and choices that I make shape me to be who I am.

I am a fighter, I am not a quitter.

I am not, but who am I?

I'll be honest, I was really nervous going to the meeting in the library, and what really pushed me past that was the promise of extra credit. Honestly, how could I pass that up?
I wasn't really sure what to expect, so I was surprised when we were actually directly involved in the discussion. We made a list of "I am"s and "I am not"s, pointing out traits about ourselves and the stereotypes that can easily follow. Most of the things I chose were surface level, and I couldn't bring myself to share, but some of the things people said were really interesting. That they were a tomboy, but didn't have lots of guy friends, or they were outdoorsy but not a redneck. Thinking about these things brought up the question of why we feel the need to justify ourselves so much, to act in opposition of those stereotypes just to show that we don't fall under them, if our own behavior or what we share is so heavily influenced by these that it causes us to close off a part of ourselves. It was a perspective that I had never thought of until we participated in that activity, and though I doubt I'll have the courage to act on it anytime soon, gaining a new way of seeing things is always something worthwhile.

Extra Credit Blog

The movie that I watched was Daddy's Little Girls. It is a movie about a man named Monty who is black and his story of trying to get his girls back & his love story.  The movie starts out with us seeing Monty working at a shop where he repairs cars for a living. He is a hard working man just trying to do best for his girls. Next we see him go to his ex- girlfriends mom's house ( she is the mother of his children) and he is dropping off food for the girls. I think it's very interesting that in this movie they stereotype the area by having people outside gambling and loud music playing making the area look sketchy and not welcomed. Long story short the ex-girlfriend's mother went to the courts to have Monty get custody of the girls because she felt her daughter wasn't a fit mother to the girls. The grandmother then ended up passing away. Monty had to get another job and was working one night when his oldest child ( 12, then 7, and 5) set fire to his apartment and the girls were placed with full custody with the mother. He gets this lawyer who was the passenger in his cab job ( they weren't friendly to each other in the beginning). She was in the back of the cab and said she wanted to find a nice black man who could use proper English and protect her and just be a gentleman. Monty is nothing like that, he is himself a man who is from the "bad side of town" and a hard working man who wants to protect the ones he loves. There relationship gets more serious the more they work on his case together. The director places Monty as a tough man who works with his hands, but at the same time a lover and almost a romantic. Julia ( the lawyer he hired) is an uptight woman who has high standards and puts every black man into a category. One thing I found interesting about this movie is that they are always labeling each other like Julia says that Monty is like every other black man just wanting his kids for the money state help ( when he really doesn't she's just being judgmental). He takes Julia to a bar down town and she feels unsafe and he says I will protect you. He is telling her what she wants to here ( like she said earlier someone who will protect her) in the bar she labeled as too white when she isn't white she black. Monty's daughter say she has a wig and has a white ladies name.
Their love story increases after this they make it clear to each other that they like each other. one term we learned in class is 9 elements of romance. one of those elements works here because she's taking a risk on him. People judge him because hes from the wrong side of town and she is a lawyer. but they take the risk and work on it. And other element would be takes hard work. She tells him she doesn't want to be in this relationship alone and tells him what happened to her in her past. This is showing hard work and another example would be when she found out in court while trying to defend him that he went to jail for rape- she wouldn't even ask if he did it or not, but the fact that he was put in jail was a no-no for her. ( he didn't do it by the way). In the end, this movie is a male lead movie and the guy gets the girl. She basically " can't live without him" " she's the one who has to say sorry for what she did" and they show him having "power" by Monty t-boning the ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend for the boyfriend forcing the 12 year old daughter to sell weed. In that moment he has the power and she comes running in and kisses him. In the end he opens his own shop up and that's the happily ever after. He got his kids back and he got the girl.

"I am... I am not"

"I am..... Asian.."

"I am not nor do I care to be the top of the class and proficient in every school subject".

This was the main activity during the Diversity Dialogues held at the library last Friday December 8, 2017.  We were asked to fold our blank 8 by 10 inch pieces of paper in half and title one "I am" and "I am not" on either sides of the fold. Now, what you decide to do with these dialogues was completely up to the person. You could either be vague and indefinite by saying something like "I am a blond, but I am not dumb" like Dr. J did as an example in front of the group. However, you could also choose to be personal and in depth by saying something like, ""I am Asian and I am not--nor do I care to be--the top of the class and proficient in every school subject" like I did.

And then, this got me thinking... why did I even write this? Why is it that I, myself, even think I need to be smart because of my race? Because of stereotypes? But how did these stereotypes even evolve and become engraved into my mind at such a young age? Ever since I was young, people I didn't even know expected me to become a doctor, engineer, scientist, and I even once had someone suggest becoming a botanist! First off, what is botany anyways?

We then started to discuss, as a group, how these stereotypes came to exist in our world. Some people suggested media, literature, expectations, and cultural norms. Like because we live in America, we're expected to be "fat"... However I'm an American, and I don't believe I'm that over weight.. Or am I? But why does this even matter?

Tying this back to the TC book, I think intersectionality and the social construction of gender play a big role in stereotypes. For example, because i'm Asian, have what you may say are "chinky" eyes (however I don't think my eyes are that chinky) and eat rice, I'm already pre-expected to be a math GOD. However, I suck at math, I hate science, and i'm probably below or not even near the middle of the class rank. Because of my cultural background and ethnicity, I'm suppose to live up to a standard that isn't even proven factual. How can someone say that Asians are scientifically proven to be smarter than any other race in the world? But for some reason, even though we don't have the facts to prove this, people still believe it.

Also, the social construction of gender plays a big role in this too. Like because I'm a girl, it's a stereotype that I'm suppose to be dumber than the normal man, run or play sports like a "girl" (what ever that is supposed to mean) and that just because I'm on my period, that gives me a reason/excuse to be a bitch. However, I know for a fact that none of these are actually correct.

Overall, I learned that media plays a big role in setting stereotypes for any person of any race/gender/group. Also, that it takes just one person to start a change and put a stop to these stereotypes. The activities we did and discussions we had were great and eye opening, and I cannot wait to attend another one of these.

Feminist Praxis

I've found that through my day to day life, I noticed that I tend to be very wary of males, especially bigger or older guys, and subconsciously make note of them in places like the bus, when I'm walking down the sidewalk, or even people I don't know in the hallways on campus. On the contrary, I've also allowed them to get away with a few things; sometimes someone will occasionally take interest or try to flirt with me, albeit not in an overly creepy way. I've also noticed that I have a more timid or cutesy way of expressing myself and using body language. It might just be me, but it's interesting considering I'm a small person and also a girl, which means I can do those things without judgement. The boys also tend to be louder and more aggressive (no offense guys, just my experience with the everyday interactions I have around the people I'm with) and though I doubt it would make a huge difference if a female like that were to be in our group, it's also something noticeable. I can see a lot of gender and cultural norms play out in my everyday life, along with the underlying ingrained dominance (and fear) of men and masculinity.

Pop Romance

Rebecca experiences privilege and oppression through being a Latina woman, and she comes from a very conservative family. She is privileged through being financially stable and having a good job where she doesn't experience sexism, and she also marries Andrew after she divorced. Throughout the book she struggles with the pressures of being expected to be married and tolerate a bad relationship, along with struggling to be honest about her emotions. With Rebecca, love did conquer all, and she was able to overcome the conservative way she was raised. I don't think this was realistic, but it's still something that could be possible. I enjoyed the character development as Rebecca learned to live how she wanted to instead of holding herself to rules that made her miserable, like her mother.