Feminist Praxis

As women (girls), we've been taught at a young age how we're suppose to act, dress, and behave that we really don't really put any thought into doing it. It's like second nature to us and really when you stop to think about it, it's not really fair. Men (boys) have the privilege of going about their days not worrying about what women worry about on a daily basis. They don't have to worry about what they wear in fear of showing to much skin or walking alone and getting approached by strangers. Sure, this could also happen to men, but the threat for women is greater then it is for men. Feminist praxis further goes on to explore the dynamics of how we see activism on a daily basis and how it is rejected or challenged. 

Gender till this day remains to be a problem. If you are female, you are already at a disadvantage. You face oppression because you are female. Not that it's your fault for being a female, males are viewed as dominants and who holds the power. Although I didn't experience this, my coworker, head cashier, and manger who were all females did. There was a man that came through and was checking out, and usually if they use our credit cards and it's over a certain amount or is a business card, we have to verify identification. When my coworker went to ask see an I.D. this man got angry and stated if she wanted to see his birth certificate as well. My head cashier who was standing nearby stepped in and told the man that this was protocol and a safety precaution. At this point, the man was not having it and asked to see a manager. My front end manager who looks pretty young came out, and the man I kid you not said, "she looks like she's barely out of high school." Granted my manager told the man that she did not appreciate him saying all of this and eventually the man went on his way. If it would've been any of the male managers that came out to speak to this man, he would've never acted this way. My front end manage is more then qualified for her position. But because she was female, the man didn't take her seriously. So to sum it up, working retail sucks and people can be really mean. 

I engage with activism everyday when I go on Twitter. This is known as online activism. "The internet is one of the greatest things ever to happen to the modern feminist movement" (150).  The feminist movement is gaining momentum by taking it to the internet and spreading the word quicker then they ever did before. Famous celebrities are coming forth about being sexually abused, and this has given many females a voice to step forward and tell their story. So when I go on my Twitter feed, the people I follow like these tweets and I see them, and a lot of them. I think its courageous for these women to step and share their stories, and reading these stories are heartbreaking. Mostly because most of them happened when they were young and it was written as if they were at fault, rather than being the victim. 

Feminist Praxis

                There are a million ways that gender dynamics are reflected in my own life. It made it very hard to focus on just a few examples. Although recognizing these dynamics is important, it is even more crucial to take action which is where feminist praxis comes into play: “an event of phenomenon that raises awareness and/or creates change on issues of patriarchy, gender systems, the intersectionality of identities and oppressions, and/or the overall structural inequalities experienced by women” (Launius & Hassel 157).

                The first example I have happened during Thanksgiving dinner at my boyfriend’s house. After dinner, he was painting his niece’s nails which is completely socially acceptable besides the fact that men usually aren’t “nail painters”. When they were done, his niece showed off her nails and everybody gave her very positive comments about how pretty they were. The tables were turned however when his cousin began painting my boyfriend’s little brother’s fingernails. When they were finished, and he began showing everyone, the reactions were completely different. Everyone concluded that boys don’t get their nails painted and nobody told him how pretty they looked. His dad even commented “I’m not taking you hunting looking like that, you’ll scare the deer away”. This is a very good example of social construction of gender: “used to explain gender role socialization and how gender systems are created and maintained” (27). We associate certain things with boys and certain things with girls and find it strange when these lines are blurred or crossed. There is definitely more controversy when boys are acting as girls than when girls are acting as boys. In my boyfriend’s family, his brother was frowned upon for having his nails painted but nothing gets said when his nieces play with toy guns and trucks. I brought this up to everyone and they were actually very interested and seemed to understand this different point of view.
                Looking at how the social construction of gender plays a role in my own family is very interesting as well. My family definitely fits into society's expectations. My mom only works part time and spends a majority of her time caring for the rest of the family. She does a majority of the cooking and cleaning which are usually gendered to be things that women do. She also never fails to remind me that I need to help her in the kitchen more often so that I am "wife material". In addition to that, my dad is the breadwinner of the family because he works about 55 hours a week and brings home a majority of the income. I very rarely see him in the kitchen (he can barely make himself a frozen pizza). He is very handy around the house however. Whenever something breaks or quits working, he is right there to fix it. He is also very good at working on our cars when something goes wrong as well. Thus he fits very well into the category of what society characterizes as manly. 

                Another good example of gender dynamics in my own life is my fear of going in public alone. I honestly hate even going to Walmart by myself, even during the day. This fear stems from the constant reminder we get that women are vulnerable to predators. All of the time in the news and online, I see reports of women being abducted, harassed, and even sexually assaulted. As a woman myself, I definitely fear this happening because I have seen how easily it can happen to other women. This is definitely a source of oppression that most men do not have to fear. Although it is still possible for it to happen to men, women are far more vulnerable. It is also a lot harder to get men to understand this point of view. My boyfriend cannot understand why I feel this way because he is male, and does not relate. I have worked very hard to provide him with examples which has helped a little bit. I think a major part of helping protect women from this would be to educate men and provide ways that both men and other women could step in if they sense danger.

                In the end, understanding gender dynamics in society is very important. What is more important however is spreading the knowledge and helping each other out. We all need to start watching one another’s backs and not being afraid to step in when situations get out of hand. The world we live in today is very different than it used to be and we need to use our knowledge to help empower both men and women to understand how to help one another succeed.  

DGSC Character Focus - Rebecca

In the novel Dirty Girls Social Club written by Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, many characters were privileged in some ways, but oppressed in others. The character I would like to focus on is Rebecca. The first interaction that we have with Rebecca in the book is through Lauren's eyes. We find out initially that she seems privileged in a number of ways. Firstly, we see her arriving for the Sucias dinner, "driving cautiously in her brand-new burgundy Jeep Grand Cherokee,"  and we find out that she is not used to lower end areas when Lauren says, "I can see from the nervous way she peers around as she trots through the snow toward us that she’s not exactly comfortable in this part of town," (31-33 Rodriguez). This would initially believe us to believe she is rather privileged, as the many factors of her life have benefited her in a way that she has never had to reside in a struggling part of town. Our beliefs of privilege in money are confirmed when we find out that she owns her own magazine. This relates to the things that she is oppressed by as well however, because she is in the public spotlight she has to constantly remain on top of the things trying to drag her down. In the story we see her main factors of oppression being her race and her gender. Her husband relates to this because even though they are married, the husband's family likes Becca less based on her heritage and race. She is also limited to who she can be interested in because of family. Her family is hugely into race, religion, and what they think is best for Becca. She likes Andre, and even though in the end Rebecca ends up happy it is still important to not the important events between Becca and Andre. Becca's mother is racist, as she really pushes against the thought of Becca dating a person of color (especially since she thinks marrying a white man was the best thing for Becca to do). This relates to our marriage concept as well, because you can see that certain marriages are frowned upon by certain individuals because they don't meet the societal norm of what marriage looks like, and thus they become an oddity of sorts (similar to what we saw in the TLC videos). These factors all influence Becca's romantic relationship, and after Brad she seems to find happiness within the comfort of Andre. I would say that while love can not fix the issues she faces with being a woman of Latina descent, it does help her find happiness and she does what she thinks is best for herself, so it does help her find herself (even through the oppression that she faces from society and her personal relationships). This is in my opinion realistic, as when one finds true love it can lead to a plethora of benefits and make your life truly change for the better, even if it can't fix EVERY problem you might face.

Feminist Praxis

Throughout our daily lives, if we pay real close attention, we are able to see and understand what goes on a lot better if we look at it through a feminist lens.  My grandparents and other family came over Thanksgiving, and we were all sitting at the table, and my grandma tells a story.  It was about how her son was traveling with this woman with disabilities, and they stopped to grab food, and he told her that she could order whatever she wanted and he would take care of it.  Later on, when they were driving, this woman got very emotional because no one ever treated her as nicely, and she had a lot of problems with domestic abuse when she was growing up, so this was a change for her.  At first, this story was obviously very touching, but looking back now, I view this differently.  In class, we watched a TLC video about marriage and disability, and there was this quote; "The agencies are supposed to provide them with adequate housing and counseling...but their response was that they don't care and don't want to."  This shows the oppression that certain people face because of their situation.  The woman in my grandma's story was treated significantly differently growing up because she had a disability, and people didn't seem to really think she deserved better.  The abuse is a different story, which relates to male dominance, but I also don't want this to be an invasion of privacy on her part with me explaining.

 Later on that day my family went to church, and I never really focused on this before, but now that I think of it, it's pretty interesting.  So, the priest was up there doing his job, but it got me thinking; there are no female priests.  Women can only be nuns and men can only be priests.  But, it is the man who is preaching about Catholicism, which is the dominant religion.  "Women are often also excluded from leadership positions.  Female ministers, bishops, priests...remain relatively rare or nonexistent in many religious traditions" (TC, 34).  This goes to show that women are perceived to not be able to handle being in a position of power, which excludes them from a lot to be able to participate in.  I would say this is definitely something that would be socially constructed, but also could be part of patriarchy, where the man is in charge and in this situation, it is being dominated by a man.

That whole week, my sister was home to visit, but she ended up getting sick and stayed in bed for like 2 days,  Anyway, my mom was the one who would constantly check up on her and try and get her to eat something.  I'm not saying anything negative about my dad, but it was my mom who really tried to care for her.  This connects to biological determinism.  It is in a woman's nature to help care for her child, but this concept is also socially constructed because it shouldn't have to be only the woman who cares for the children because the man obviously isn't helpless.  We watched an ad about Huggies diapers, and it was the dads who were taking care of their kids.  "We put them to the toughest test possible: dads."  This is assuming that dads aren't able to take care of their kids because it's always the mom doing that job, and these dads are also assumed to be somewhat 'stupid' because they are normally portrayed as manly, so changing a diaper isn't going to be something they know how to do.  There is a list of stereotypical gender qualities in the TC book that reflect this as well.  Even in my family, in this scenario, my mother fits some of the stereotypical gender qualities by taking charge and taking care of my sister. 

By taking a closer look at my family and my life, I noticed a lot that I never would have thought twice about.  I am now able to understand what's going on, and if possible, let others know too.  There are some things that go on around me that I'm unable to change, but for instance, if either one of my parents does something that reinforces what society wants us to do, I am now able to stand up for them and tell them they don't have to be doing that.  Also, it makes me understand that everyone should be treated equal, obviously, but all of this helps me be able to treat others better and more fairly.

Popular Romance and DGSC

In the novel, DGSC, we can see how Elizabeth is both privileged and oppressed in many situations.  She is a Christian, able-bodied, homosexual, upper class, black female Latina.  From this, she is privileged because she is a Christian, able-bodied, and an upperclassman.  The other ways are which she is oppressed: homosexual, black, female Latina.  We can see throughout her story how she is affected by these aspects of her life.  She experiences both sexism, racism, and heterosexism, and there are many examples of this, but the most common one that is focused on his heterosexism.  Because she is a lesbian, she is treated and viewed differently by others.  "I can't admit it, what I am.  She is careful and does not look at me the wrong way in public.  These are the hoops I make her jump through" (page, 67).  Elizabeth and Selwyn, Elizabeth mostly, have to be careful how they act in public because they know other people won't accept them because being homosexual in society is not the norm.  This just shows how society views those who aren't the norm.  This is the first time we can see her encounter with heterosexism and that it affects her life with Selwyn.  "I saw on the Internet you teach over at Simmons College.  Is that an all-girl school or something?" (page, 69).  Elizabeth and Selwyn run into Eileen that night, and Eileen makes a joke about her being a lesbian.  Eileen is the one who writes about this and makes a scene about Elizabeth and her lifestyle.  This definitely shows the institutional oppression Elizabeth is put through, by being harassed about her sexuality, and when the story is published, everyone makes a huge deal and starts treating her differently.  Not only does she experience heterosexism because of her situation, she also experiences racism.  Looking at the quotes; "She's black, Sara.  I don't like black women," (page, 86) and "A total waste of a beautiful woman" (page, 84), we can see how even Roberto treats her.  Roberto comes out and says he doesn't even like black women show how being another race than he is, is looked down upon.  Elizabeth is being subjected to both racism and heterosexism, and it's all through one person.  Elizabeth is a female tv anchor, and even though she is a female, she is still very successful, and we don't hear much about problems regarding her gender, but when it comes to other things, concerning her sexuality, her life takes a turn and people call her names.

I wouldn't necessarily say that love is what conquers her struggles, I would say it's more of society obsessing over something, and then finding something new to focus on.  We can see this when after a couple months passed, there were no problems regarding who she was as a person, and she was able to quit her job and be happy.  Her friends were there for her when she told them, and Sara even risked her safety when Elizabeth needed her for support and someone to confide in.  "Does she think I'm that close-minded I would reject her completely?" (page, 84).   Sara was clearly supportive from the start, and didn't have any problem with her coming out.

Blog Post 6: Popular romance and The Dirty Girl's Social club

Usnavys

Usnavys... Wow how I envied her character. She is strong, rich, independent, self absorbed, confident, intelligent, and a woman.

Just from the first couple of pages as we read Lauren's perspective of the girls, we learn so much about Usnavys and her background. Right off the back, we learn her mother is Puerto Rican  who moved to the states to better their lives. Usnavys is a dark, thick woman with no strong male figures in her life to guide her in her life. Her father abandoned them, brother killed, and at first, no lover. All of these things you would consider her life was and is pretty rough, aka "oppressed". However, we quickly learn all the positive things about her that outweigh those things. For example, she's the smartest of her class, graduated from Harvard, rich, a womanizer (the female version.. which she has every right to do so without judgement) and lives her life with her nose up high. Even though she is dark, Puerto Rican, she was privileged enough to live in the states and have the opportunity to become successful unlike some females that live in other countries who are expected to be stay at home mothers even though they can do great at a university.

Intersectionality comes into play because she is a female, woman of color, and Puerto Rican. However, I think all of these aspects enhance her image rather than pull her back because she embraces all of these things which makes her more confident and stronger than most females in the book and in reality. She doesn't allow for those social categories to hold her back, and that's why I envy her so much.

Love does conquer all! Juan, the man she has loved for the past 10 years... yes, TEN years, is finally hers. I believe their love story is realistic, because it's true... You may love someone, however, somethings about that person may hold you back from being able to love them (sounds materialistic/selfish) but it's true. Even though we want to believe love conquers all, we have to be realistic. Love is expensive, and sometimes when your partner cannot support you, you second guess their ability to take care of you. It's a harsh reality, but it's true. If your partner doesn't have a job and no education, it's hard to see pass that.. And that's where I see their love story being realistic.. Because Usnavys recognized those things.. but at the end of the day, married him because love does conquer all in their loves story.

Popular Romance and The Dirty Girls Social Club

The character I will be focusing on is Elizabeth.

Elizabeth experienced privilege because her mom moves to America so she can have a better life. Women in Columbia don't have the opportunities or rights that women in America do. Because of this she is given a chance to be herself and work hard to be successful.

She experiences oppression when word gets out that she is lesbian. People who were once very supportive of her want nothing to do with her, her job becomes at jeopardy, she's worried if she will lose friends over it, and worried how her mother will take it. It also becomes evident that the public in general changes their opinion on her as well.

Elizabeth's race, sexuality, gender, and personal background with Columbian ethnicity all are major factors in her life and what obstacles she has had to overcome.

• Love does conquer all for Elizabeth. She actually ends up getting a happily ever after unlike some of the other characters. And I do think that this kind of love story can be realistic but is rare. Not many couples can go through what Elizabeth and Selwyn went through and still be in love.