Extra Credit

       I thought that the diversity meeting was going to be a presentation, rather an involved campus activity. A bit nerve wrecking at first, but easy going in the end. Introduction were a little awkward, I almost skipped this part because I didn't have much on me that described who I am, so I chose my coffee and doughnut explaining my daily stop at kwik trip for caffeine and a snack, college life. To my surprise there were quite a few people who did not participate in the introductions, and even more in the activity discussion. Like most, I struggled with writing who I am, and who I am not. I had to ask myself what I wanted others to know about me. Do I want it to be personal? Or should I keep it simple? I am very open about myself and experiences, so the answer to that didn't take long, but it was WHAT I wanted to share. There wasn't much of a reaction between the people in my area that shared what they wrote. With this I felt that these individuals were open to whatever someone else said regardless, and accepting them as they are, or are not.
       I think the exercise brought up some valuable points within the group. One pointed that she felt it was easier to write what she isn't, which made sense. A lot of people want others to see them as they are, not what is perceived by images, so to make that clear could be easier for some. Another shared his area of residence and proceeded by stating he is not a hick. This was a great example of stereotyping and how they dont follow set rules because we are individuals, and images dont make us who we are. I pointed that the influence of friends and family can create social inequalities, and it is important to look past them; understand there's more to a person than what others say or think. Take a chance, step out of your comfort zone and sit with a new person in a class, get to know more people and learn from them. Media is another contributor of social stereotypes.
       Although the participating group didn't look like there was a lot of diversity, it was there. Culture, religion, socioeconomic class, educational status, etc. There is diversity in our history, background, upbringing, and more. The take away, is to be more accepting of others no matter where the differences are. 

EC Blog

One of the prompts for this blog was talking about a show that has a love story plot line.  The show I would like to analyze is Friends and the relationship between Monica and Chandler. This relationship is very complex, as they weren't a couple in the beginning of the show.  They went through many ups and downs to make it to their happily ever after at the end of the show.

One way I know this is a romance/love story is the fact that they have to over come obstacles that bring them to their happily ever after.  They start out in a group of friends where they are both dating other people.  At no point during this time do they have any interest in dating each other.  Throughout the years of being friends they go through a lot of break ups and heartaches.  But of course in the end they end up together, but it wasn't easy.

When they first realized they were attracted to each other they tried to hide it.  Resisted their urges and wouldn't want to be around each other.  Then, they eventually gave in but the relationship was basically "friends with benefits".  It took them a long time (many episodes) to become official.  So, in their own way, they had to overcome themselves and what they thought they wanted to be together.

Once they became a couple they didn't tell their friends because they were worried of what they might think.  Chandler is best friends with Monica's brother Ross and didn't want the friendship to be ruined because of it.  Well the truth eventually came out and their friends at first were confused with the whole situation, after all Monica and Chandler never seemed to have any actual interest in each other. 

Finally, after seeing how in love they were, their friends were very happy for them.  They had support throughout their whole entire relationship and of course during fights the girls would take Monica's side and the guys would take Chandler's side but somehow it always seemed to work out in the end. 

Monica and Chandler become the first people in the group of friends to become happily married.  Which is where stereotypes, and privilege vs. oppression really came into their relationship.

Monica is stereotyped as the girl who has been dreaming of her wedding since she was really little.  Making her seem over obsessed by trying on a ton of wedding dressing and wearing one around the apartment for a whole day.  As well as the over controlling woman who expects everything to be perfect because she has OCD.  It makes her come off as kind of a bitch and bossy towards Chandler in a couple of episodes. 

Oddly enough, I believe that Monica experiences a lot of privilege in this relationship.  She is the one who owns the apartment that they eventually live together in, has always kept a job/steady income, and is considered to be attractive.  She is also intelligent, able-bodied, and white.  She pretty much never loses her power as a woman throughout the entire show and more importantly, throughout their entire relationship. 

The one part of this relationship that I think she experienced the most oppression is when she found out she can't have any kids.  These kinds of things are looked down upon in society because if a woman can't have kids then what is she good for right?  Well Monica feels exactly like that and she becomes very sad, almost depressed about how she is "broken". 

Chandler is stereotyped as the guy who has never thought about his wedding until the decided to pop the question to Monica.  He is also portrayed as a dumb silly guy who doesn't know a thing about women.  He just wants to do manly things with the boys and not worry about girly things like planning a wedding, but when he hears about the cost he perks right up and doesn't hesitate to say how ridiculous it is to spend so much on a wedding. 

Chandler experiences privilege in many ways as well.  He is an able-bodied, college educated, white, handsome, and middle-class man.  Also, being in a relationship with a pretty girl gives him privileges because he has something that every man wants.  Society expects men to be with pretty girls.  Society wants men to want to be with pretty girls. 

He also experiences a lot of oppression too.  At one point he becomes unemployed and Monica has to provide for the both of them.  This isn't what men are suppose to do, according to society.  So he becomes the stay at home husband, who cooks and cleans for his wife.  His guy friends start to see him different when they find out how he has been acting/living and try to get to be more manly and masculine.  Gives him support to stop being a stay at home husband and look for a job so he can provide for his family, because that's what men are supposed to do.

Extra Credit Blog: Me Before You

Yesterday afternoon I watched a movie called “Me Before You”. The primary theme of the movie was a love story between a man and a woman. Although the relationship was heterosexual, there are a number of ways that I am able to apply our class concepts to the film in order to look at it from a feminist perspective.

                First off, I plan to explore how the social construction of gender plays a role in the movie. I feel as though the movie sticks to the idea of a “gender binary”, and each character is socialized to follow these norms. For example, the main character, Louisa is a young woman whom takes a job opportunity that requires her to care for a young man that had recently been paralyzed. This applies to the concept of the social construction of gender because caregiving is primarily a female role. Not only that, but Louisa’s father ends up taking a job for the same family that deals with being a maintenance man. Jobs that require building things, working with hands, and using tools are usually socialized to be masculine jobs. Lastly, looking at Louisa’s mother, it is easy to see that she falls into a stereotypical gender role as well. Her mother is primarily a stay at home mom that tends to the family’s needs such as cooking and cleaning.

                Another thing I wanted to explore about this movie was ways in which the characters were privileged and oppressed. For starters, Louisa’s family appears to be lower middle class, possibly even below middle class. It is obvious that the family is struggling to make money to pay for certain expenses. Louisa’s father had recently lost his job before getting the maintenance offer later on in the movie. Not only that, but Louisa herself mentions multiple times throughout the movie that she keeps her caregiving job merely because she needs the money, not because she enjoys it. With that being said however, her views do eventually change as her and the young man she is caring for become more fond of one another. Will on the other-hand, the young man she is caring for, comes from an extremely rich family. Will used to be able to take all sorts of extreme and exotic vacations (he pretty much had the world), but it all came to and end when he became paralyzed. Thus, he is privileged because he is rich, but is oppressed because he is not able-bodied anymore. This oppression also brings out his stubbornness. There are many things Will cannot do, but he insists on trying, or refuses to ask for help because as a fit young man, he does not like being dependent on others.

                Early on in the movie, Louisa finds out that in six months, Will has chosen to go the route of assisted suicide because he fears being a burden to others, and he claims that he wants all of his pain and suffering to end. He used to be on top of the world and now he barely finds the motivation to get out of bed in the moring. His family is not happy about this, and neither is Louisa when she finds out. She dedicates the rest of her time caring for Will to giving him all sorts of fun life adventures in hopes that he will change his mind about the suicide. (She does not inform him that she knows). The two end up going to horse races, a birthday party, a wedding, and lastly even on a full out vacation. During this time, Louisa and her current boyfriend break up because he realizes that she is falling for Will. She claims it is just work, but it is obvious that feelings are involved. In the end, they both have an incredible time together and Louisa does an amazing job at showing Will that he cannot let his disability keep him from living his life.

                Out of respect of the people that haven’t seen the movie, and maybe would like to, I am not going to go into detail on how it ends (I don’t want any spoiler alerts). I can say that it is a beautiful love story in which a young woman is willing to sacrifice her “normal life” in order to care for someone with a disability. Her love for Will becomes so strong that she is willing to take care of him for the rest of her life if she has to. It is incredible to see someone with this kind of courage, strength and love even though it was a fictional movie. It is also interesting to look at how each of these character’s lives intersect with one another to determine the experiences they have throughout the movie. 

EC Blog: HIMYM

So one of the prompts under the extra credit blogs where "Watch a film or TV show with a prominent love story and critique it using our disciplinary concepts.", which is awesome. I chose one of my favorite shows, How I Met Your Mother. Now, for any of you who have seen it, you know how it ends, does this count as a love story? Well, I'm not sure, SO I am going to critique several of the relationships shown throughout the series, I hope that is okay. Let's start out with one of my favorites- Marshall & Lilly
Their relationship has up's and down's much like any relationship of course. So, starting with a feminist stance, and how we see the gender roles played throughout their relationship. When the series first began, Marshall was going to school to be a lawyer (typical male job *groan*) and Lilly was a teacher...typical, right? But Marshall mentions in one of the episodes how bad he feels that Lilly was supporting him while he went to school, which I feel is not stereotypical for a female to do. Marshall is also a very emotional man, he has no problem crying and telling Lilly how he feels. He even sings her a goodnight song when she goes away for a trip. Although they do split up for a little while, there is no doubt that they were meant to be together.

Another stereotype the show has is Barney. He has a rule book and all the lies he tells women to get them to sleep with them, and I feel like they are trying to make him into a stereotypical man who only wants to hook up with women to have sex with them. However, there is a part in the series where he and Robin get together, and get married, which I feel like shows that even though he was a man whore, he was still able to settle down and find love for a little bit.

Another relationship we could look at would be Ted and his wife, who ends up dying in the end, can we even count that as a happy ending? I don't think so. BUT Ted does fall in love with Robin, and it shows throughout the whole series, he may be on the lookout to find his true love, but from the very first episode, he was all about Robin. He hosted a party just so that he could see her again, he stole a blue french horn for her. Ted was a romantic, and I feel like that is opposite of the normal gender stereotypes.

So throughout the series, I feel like they challenge and also support several gender stereotypes.

Also, pretty salty that they took it off Netflix.

E.C. Blog

This past week I had the opportunity to attend an event called Diversity Dialogues. I wasn't sure what to expect when I went but in the end it turned out to be insightful and an eye opener. In particular, one activity that really made me think and take a step back and examine who I really was as a person. This activity had us divide the paper in two columns and on one side it had I am and the other side I am not. As I was going thinking of what to write, I realized that it was quite hard. In a way, the only things that I could think of for the I am not was all stereotypes that I as an asian American face. We all were suppose to come up with five, and I could barely think of three. I think being female and asian definitely made me think of things that I didn't want to put on paper to share with others. The more I think of it most of them were quite negative and did follow the social construction of gender. Don't get me wrong, I do love myself and embrace my ethnicity, but these stereotypes do create obstacles that make others think of you differently. I left this activity really thinking who I am as a person and thinking, these things don't define me as a person. My decisions and choices that I make shape me to be who I am.

I am a fighter, I am not a quitter.

I am not, but who am I?

I'll be honest, I was really nervous going to the meeting in the library, and what really pushed me past that was the promise of extra credit. Honestly, how could I pass that up?
I wasn't really sure what to expect, so I was surprised when we were actually directly involved in the discussion. We made a list of "I am"s and "I am not"s, pointing out traits about ourselves and the stereotypes that can easily follow. Most of the things I chose were surface level, and I couldn't bring myself to share, but some of the things people said were really interesting. That they were a tomboy, but didn't have lots of guy friends, or they were outdoorsy but not a redneck. Thinking about these things brought up the question of why we feel the need to justify ourselves so much, to act in opposition of those stereotypes just to show that we don't fall under them, if our own behavior or what we share is so heavily influenced by these that it causes us to close off a part of ourselves. It was a perspective that I had never thought of until we participated in that activity, and though I doubt I'll have the courage to act on it anytime soon, gaining a new way of seeing things is always something worthwhile.

Extra Credit Blog

The movie that I watched was Daddy's Little Girls. It is a movie about a man named Monty who is black and his story of trying to get his girls back & his love story.  The movie starts out with us seeing Monty working at a shop where he repairs cars for a living. He is a hard working man just trying to do best for his girls. Next we see him go to his ex- girlfriends mom's house ( she is the mother of his children) and he is dropping off food for the girls. I think it's very interesting that in this movie they stereotype the area by having people outside gambling and loud music playing making the area look sketchy and not welcomed. Long story short the ex-girlfriend's mother went to the courts to have Monty get custody of the girls because she felt her daughter wasn't a fit mother to the girls. The grandmother then ended up passing away. Monty had to get another job and was working one night when his oldest child ( 12, then 7, and 5) set fire to his apartment and the girls were placed with full custody with the mother. He gets this lawyer who was the passenger in his cab job ( they weren't friendly to each other in the beginning). She was in the back of the cab and said she wanted to find a nice black man who could use proper English and protect her and just be a gentleman. Monty is nothing like that, he is himself a man who is from the "bad side of town" and a hard working man who wants to protect the ones he loves. There relationship gets more serious the more they work on his case together. The director places Monty as a tough man who works with his hands, but at the same time a lover and almost a romantic. Julia ( the lawyer he hired) is an uptight woman who has high standards and puts every black man into a category. One thing I found interesting about this movie is that they are always labeling each other like Julia says that Monty is like every other black man just wanting his kids for the money state help ( when he really doesn't she's just being judgmental). He takes Julia to a bar down town and she feels unsafe and he says I will protect you. He is telling her what she wants to here ( like she said earlier someone who will protect her) in the bar she labeled as too white when she isn't white she black. Monty's daughter say she has a wig and has a white ladies name.
Their love story increases after this they make it clear to each other that they like each other. one term we learned in class is 9 elements of romance. one of those elements works here because she's taking a risk on him. People judge him because hes from the wrong side of town and she is a lawyer. but they take the risk and work on it. And other element would be takes hard work. She tells him she doesn't want to be in this relationship alone and tells him what happened to her in her past. This is showing hard work and another example would be when she found out in court while trying to defend him that he went to jail for rape- she wouldn't even ask if he did it or not, but the fact that he was put in jail was a no-no for her. ( he didn't do it by the way). In the end, this movie is a male lead movie and the guy gets the girl. She basically " can't live without him" " she's the one who has to say sorry for what she did" and they show him having "power" by Monty t-boning the ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend for the boyfriend forcing the 12 year old daughter to sell weed. In that moment he has the power and she comes running in and kisses him. In the end he opens his own shop up and that's the happily ever after. He got his kids back and he got the girl.

"I am... I am not"

"I am..... Asian.."

"I am not nor do I care to be the top of the class and proficient in every school subject".

This was the main activity during the Diversity Dialogues held at the library last Friday December 8, 2017.  We were asked to fold our blank 8 by 10 inch pieces of paper in half and title one "I am" and "I am not" on either sides of the fold. Now, what you decide to do with these dialogues was completely up to the person. You could either be vague and indefinite by saying something like "I am a blond, but I am not dumb" like Dr. J did as an example in front of the group. However, you could also choose to be personal and in depth by saying something like, ""I am Asian and I am not--nor do I care to be--the top of the class and proficient in every school subject" like I did.

And then, this got me thinking... why did I even write this? Why is it that I, myself, even think I need to be smart because of my race? Because of stereotypes? But how did these stereotypes even evolve and become engraved into my mind at such a young age? Ever since I was young, people I didn't even know expected me to become a doctor, engineer, scientist, and I even once had someone suggest becoming a botanist! First off, what is botany anyways?

We then started to discuss, as a group, how these stereotypes came to exist in our world. Some people suggested media, literature, expectations, and cultural norms. Like because we live in America, we're expected to be "fat"... However I'm an American, and I don't believe I'm that over weight.. Or am I? But why does this even matter?

Tying this back to the TC book, I think intersectionality and the social construction of gender play a big role in stereotypes. For example, because i'm Asian, have what you may say are "chinky" eyes (however I don't think my eyes are that chinky) and eat rice, I'm already pre-expected to be a math GOD. However, I suck at math, I hate science, and i'm probably below or not even near the middle of the class rank. Because of my cultural background and ethnicity, I'm suppose to live up to a standard that isn't even proven factual. How can someone say that Asians are scientifically proven to be smarter than any other race in the world? But for some reason, even though we don't have the facts to prove this, people still believe it.

Also, the social construction of gender plays a big role in this too. Like because I'm a girl, it's a stereotype that I'm suppose to be dumber than the normal man, run or play sports like a "girl" (what ever that is supposed to mean) and that just because I'm on my period, that gives me a reason/excuse to be a bitch. However, I know for a fact that none of these are actually correct.

Overall, I learned that media plays a big role in setting stereotypes for any person of any race/gender/group. Also, that it takes just one person to start a change and put a stop to these stereotypes. The activities we did and discussions we had were great and eye opening, and I cannot wait to attend another one of these.

Feminist Praxis

I've found that through my day to day life, I noticed that I tend to be very wary of males, especially bigger or older guys, and subconsciously make note of them in places like the bus, when I'm walking down the sidewalk, or even people I don't know in the hallways on campus. On the contrary, I've also allowed them to get away with a few things; sometimes someone will occasionally take interest or try to flirt with me, albeit not in an overly creepy way. I've also noticed that I have a more timid or cutesy way of expressing myself and using body language. It might just be me, but it's interesting considering I'm a small person and also a girl, which means I can do those things without judgement. The boys also tend to be louder and more aggressive (no offense guys, just my experience with the everyday interactions I have around the people I'm with) and though I doubt it would make a huge difference if a female like that were to be in our group, it's also something noticeable. I can see a lot of gender and cultural norms play out in my everyday life, along with the underlying ingrained dominance (and fear) of men and masculinity.

Pop Romance

Rebecca experiences privilege and oppression through being a Latina woman, and she comes from a very conservative family. She is privileged through being financially stable and having a good job where she doesn't experience sexism, and she also marries Andrew after she divorced. Throughout the book she struggles with the pressures of being expected to be married and tolerate a bad relationship, along with struggling to be honest about her emotions. With Rebecca, love did conquer all, and she was able to overcome the conservative way she was raised. I don't think this was realistic, but it's still something that could be possible. I enjoyed the character development as Rebecca learned to live how she wanted to instead of holding herself to rules that made her miserable, like her mother.

The Feminist Praxis and My Life

Before taking this class, I was completely oblivious to the world of feminism and how it had an impact on my life. The only easy way to go about this is to take it step by step and say how it is in my life.

The construction of gender and my life:
I didn't really think that the construction of gender was a part of my life, but it is. From the time I was young, there were certain things that were expected of me since I was a girl, I was supposed to dress cute, and feminine, I was supposed to be a certain size, and if I wasn't I was ridiculed. Those are just a few things that revolve around the idea of what a "girl" should be like. I feel like if we raised our children without these ideas of what men and women act like, the world would be a better place.

Privilege and Oppression:
I never considered myself to be privileged or oppressed really, but I do in fact experience both of those things. I am privileged because I was born a Caucasian person, however I experience oppression because I am a child of divorce, and we are not a particularly rich family. Again, those are only a few ways in which privilege and oppression play a role in my life.

Both of these things show intersectionality in my life,  because they both intersect in my life and make me who I am.

Feminist Praxis

With the gender norms that society has created, it becomes clear what is expected from men and women.  Especially in the work place where more men are expected to be in more stressful and higher paying positions.  People expect more out of men because of the dominance that masculinity that society expects from them. 

In my own experience with this, I remember a time with one of my past jobs, where people expected less of me just because of my gender. There was this one time where a man walked up to me and the first thing he said to me was "Can I speak to a manager?", without even saying "Hi" and smiling at me.  This was obviously a reaction to the fact that I'm female.  And once the manager came over, I heard the man ask the question and I knew the answer. It's frustrating because I know I could have helped that man a lot faster than waiting for a manager to come over to help him.  Just because of my gender, he thought that I couldn't answer his question. 

I would also get men who wouldn't let me help them or answer their questions because I was considered attractive to them.  One man even said to me "You work here?  You're too pretty to be working here."  It's pretty insulting because then where am I suppose to work?  Just because I was seen in that way doesn't mean I shouldn't be working at a certain place.  Women are often times not given enough credit just because of their looks and gender. 

Expectations of women in the workforce are made very clear by these experiences.  People just assume we should be working in a salon or babysitting kids instead of working a "mans job".  Yes, there are times when having a man would work better than a woman, but that can be reversed as well. 

I feel like I engage in everyday activism because I believe that girls can do anything that guys can do.  There are no limitations unless you tell yourself you can't do it.  Women are out there fighting for our country, running successful businesses, and challenging the standard norms everyday.  It's interesting how we can have such strong and independent women out there doing things that most men don't have the guts to do, but yet we are seen as less than a man.

I engage in "everyday activism" by challenging what people think of me and how they view me.  Because of those experiences, I went out and found a more demanding job that'll better my chances for success in the future.  I also speak up when a woman is being treated different just because she is a woman.  Never in my life have I been afraid to speak my mind and tell people that whatever guys can do girls can do too. 

Feminist Praxis and Gender Dynamics

Society created socially constructed roles defining what it means to be a man, and to be a woman. In every household, in every country, in every culture, there are gender dynamics set in place. This idea affects us all directly, because the roles we assign as men and women are a learned behavior. According to Christie and Holly in the Threshold Concepts in Women’s and Gender Studies “Intersectionality is a theoretical framework that posits that multiple social categories (e.g., race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, social-economic status) intersect at the micro level of individual experience to reflect multiple interlocking systems of privilege and oppression at the macro social-structural level (e.g., racism, sexism, heterosexism, compulsory heterosexuality, heteronormativity, ableism)” (p. 114-115). With that being stated, it is unavoidable to face the conflict of oppression and privilege, to see ways the gender dynamics are placed in our day to day lives.

Gender dynamics in MY life…

                I would like to say that my partner and I share equal time working, doing chores around the house, and always see eye to eye. Laughing to myself, I recall a time we argued over his lack of chores around the house. “You think your fuckin superwomen” he said. “I am” I replied. Working, going to school, getting daughter up, dropping her off, picking her up, putting her to sleep, cleaning the whole house, taking dog out, etc.… His poor excuse for doing no laundry, dishes, floors, or anything else in the house was that he works. UGH! Why is it I must work AND do it ALL too? Going forward, he compares his physical labor in factory work to my JUST being a server/bartender at the time. It all boiled down to his expectations of me as a woman, my role in the relationship, in my work life, and in society as a whole.

Expectations of me as a woman are often made clear in my relationship. Parenting can be troublesome as well. There are times when I scold and discipline our daughter, or not give her what she wants. Well, let’s just say daddy is much more lenient, she could have ice cream for breakfast if she wants, you know what I mean? Great, now I’m the bad guy! I’m often setting the rules, and caring for the house, while he works, comes home, eats, and sleeps. The times daddy scolds her, she actually listens! I don’t understand the dynamics of that, but mommy isn’t taken seriously in the matter of discipline.

When considering my engagement in everyday activism I think of the many times I have spoken about never settling for less. Encouraging words to women who have suffered abuse, who have been wrongfully mistreated for reasons concerning their identities, and faced many other ways concerning privilege and oppression. I have never been a bystander in a case where there is misjudgment and mistreatment. Twice I have called out for an abuser to leave a women alone at a party and gotten my lip busted by a man one time, choked with a mans hands around my neck the other. I’ve seen an abuser raise his hands to my mother who was so drunk she couldn’t move, or defend herself, taken a knife to the man and demanded that he leave. I will always fight for rights, and the safety of women. Some might say I should reconsider the circumstances and my reactions, I say, it’s not happening in front of me, not while I’m around. I think I need to learn the techniques of the bystander intervention because its meant to teach men and women how to intervene without confrontation or danger. These techniques could be a very useful tool as a program offered to high-school and/or college students because many of us are affected by these situations first hand, or at least know someone who is. 

Feminist Praxis

Let's get real. I'm a Hmong-American girl living in the United States of 2017 but culturally stuck back in Laos where forced marriage is still practiced and highly recommended. I say this because even though I live across the Atlantic Ocean and in another continent, many Hmong refugees that migrated to the United States still practice strong traditions that will live forever throughout generations and generations. And because of this, I always see the social construction of gender and privilege and oppression play a big role in our culture.

But don't get me wrong, I love our traditions. Big blow out weddings that last over the course of a three day period, dinner parties called "blessings" for any occasion... Anyways, getting back to my point, I love our traditions.. However just not ALL of them...

Ever since I could remember, the first Hmong wedding  I went to, the bride was 14, pregnant, marrying a 30 year old man, and forced to live happily ever after... Now, don't over react, this is just a very extreme example I'm using, trust me, this doesn't happen on the daily (.. In the United states anyways...). Most couples of my race are extremely happy and married with kids and so on so don't worry, we aren't that extreme.

In that scenario I mentioned above ^^^ there were so many other options that 14 year old could've chosen but because of her family's strong traditions, marriage was and always will be the only option. First off, she's pregnant: automatic forced marriage. The idea that she even had sex: forced marriage. And lastly, if he has money: there you go, another forced marriage. Now in this situation, she's a girl, so oppression plays a big role in this.

Oppression--defined as "prejudice and discrimination directed toward a group and perpetuated by the ideologies and practices of multiple social institutions". Now in our culture, woman are usually always the ones to be oppressed. They hold a reputation that if in any way acts against the ideologies of what is right and proper, they're targeted and discriminated. In the book TC, "controlling images (stereotypes) are dominant culture ideologies about subordinate groups that serve to restrict their options to constrain them" (80). So what I think this means is, that these "ideologies" that woman are suppose to uphold are so powerful that they control and restrict what a woman can or cannot do.

This is 100% accurate and sadly, I see it all the time with my married friends and family. A woman must ask for permission for anything (to go out, what job to take, what friends to hang out with etc.). They're given a price ($10,000 if she's absolutely perfect-$2,000 if she's either divorced, tainted, or not worth what they believe is the high price). Now you may ask where I'm getting these numbers from but that a whole other story. Moving on, as you can tell, the gender dynamics are not so equal as you may think.. And that's just some of it.

Wrapping up, what I will consider doing to engage in "every day activism" is to inform girls in the Hmong community about other options that they have besides marriage. That it's okay to be independent, strong, and powerful and go against traditions sometimes. It's okay to be single, have a child out of wedlock, and self support themselves without a man. I think that's why a lot of these traditions are still being practiced, because girls are not informed about their options.. and this leads to abuse, loveless marriages, and divorce.

Feminist Praxis and how to Practice

Looking carefully at my life, I see a lot more gendered qualities than I would have previously thought there were in my life. Not that the ones that I have are bad, just knowing that they are there is enough to make me question why. I see my family as pretty a-typical when it comes to being strict about certain ‘rules’ about gender and such, which is why I was so surprised to find my life is gendered. I own a lot of “girly” clothes, and I guess and equal amount of “masculine” clothes as well. Though I generally stick to t-shirts and jeans, I have some clothes that are more flattering to women, as well as some that are made for men. And although I have these clothes, I still act like well… me to people I know. I say this because I don’t think I have inherently female or male qualities about me when I interact with people in my life, I just try to see people as people no matter what. Maybe this is just my bias, but I see traits of both sides in action when I talk to other people. I act more “female” when I talk to people I don’t know, maybe partly because that is what I know they see, or because I am uncomfortable with new people. For example: when meeting someone new, I tend to be shy, reserved, quiet, and demure. As a contrast when I meet up with my family or friends I am a loud, rowdy, and kind of brash person, which not many people see. When I am with people who I know well enough I feel comfortable letting my “unsightly” personality traits have free reign unlike when I am meeting strangers who I am giving a first impression to. This ties in a lot to do with the social construction of gender, and how people influence their children in certain ways to “act like a girl” or “be quiet like girls should be”. These are things that I wasn’t used to hearing as a child, and only when I got to school did I hear more “gendered talk”. This being raised as who I wanted, and that I could accomplish anything I put my mind too was the mentality that I still enjoy today, and is a big part of my personality.  I feel that I should be more aware of the intersectionality that I and other people face, and understand the privilege and oppression and what it means to them as a person. I try to be aware that other people have challenges that I don’t face, and try to understand them as best I can which can be a challenge for me sometimes because I feel sad that other people are being pushed down when they deserve so much more.  I don’t want to sound depressing, though I think that last part is getting there. Now the question we have to ask ourselves what we can do to change these problems by “everyday activism”. I would say, start with your family, and explain why you believe in theories like intersectionality and help them understand what it is and why it is important. Regardless if your family is with or against you, the best policy is to not force the issue. Tie a feminist theory into some of your classwork for a different class. Start a public blog about feminism. Or even make a t-shirt with a slogan about feminism and wear it. The possibilities are endless when it comes to spreading the news about feminist theories and why they are important to understand. Be conscious of what’s out there, and try your best to help other people understand.

Feminist Praxis

One way I see myself engaging in everyday activism is when I am teaching dance class and the girls are worried what other might think about what they wear for the recital. Some are worried that they will be called a slut or a whore because of what they are wearing. And to be honest with you I would never let the girls out on stage like that, but they have different feelings on how clothes look/ seem to look, than  I do. I just tell them that they aren't a slut or a whore for wearing this outfit that makes them look good, they are wearing something for themselves not for other people.  In TC on pg. 157, they talk about Jessica Valenti's  book, Full frontal feminism: A young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters, and basically says that she tells these girls to stand up for themselves and challenge what society set for them. For example, she says about beauty, " if you wanna wear makeup wear it! if not don't, either way you are beautiful". And that is something that I was trying to get across to my dance students. These outfits don't make you slutty- they show a more beautiful side. I have changed the outfit to make everyone comfortable because I don't want them thinking that they are looking slutty on stage.

This is something that still affects me because of my mom, but was a huge deal in high school, middle school etc. On page, 174 in TC it states, " Bodies:  a key focus of feminist activism has been the idea that women have the right to control their own bodies". I know this is talking about rape, sexual assault and street harassment. But I think that the dress code has some play in this too. It isn't said in school, but we hear it all over that, the reason us girls have to cover up is because this body part or that body part is distracting to other students- they usually say male students too. They just reinforce that boys can do whatever and girls are just a little bit lower than them. and what I mean by that is yes, there is a dress code for boys in high school, but a girl is more likely to get talked to about dress code than a boy is. A girls is going to be asked to go home and change rather than a boy. They say it's because " boys can be boys" So, it's okay for boys to do whatever they want and girls have to follow the rules- and if boys do break the rules then it's not a big deal. That's not how this works. I have seen tons of girls posting lately that they want to see a change in the dress code. Not all women are alike -like some like to think- we are all different. Different sizes, heights, weights, weight in certain areas more than others. The dress code needs to made for everyone ( all girls equal) so everyone can wear shorts when it's hot. Boys need to learn that just because what they see on tv, movies, and music videos ( girls half naked and some being taken advantage of ) doesn't mean you can do that in real life. Boys need to be taught that they have rules to follow like respect a girl don't treat her like a piece of ass. And girls need to be taught that they aren't a whore for wearing this shirt or wearing those pants or wearing this makeup- they need to be taught how to look at themselves in a positive light.

Feminist Praxis

“…an event or phenomenon that raises awareness and/or creates change on issues of patriarchy, gender systems, the intersectionality of identities and oppressions, and/or the overall structural inequalities experienced by women” (157).

On a daily basis, we see that men are more privileged than women. We also see that intersectionality comes into play. The social construction of gender too is also occurring on an everyday basis. At my workplace which is a nursing home, the CEO is a man. We talked about how most CEOs are men in class. Most of the people working CNA, dietary, receptionist, and etc. are women. This is a part of women’s’ identity where they are seen as caring. Even for women, some are more privileged than others. Those who have a higher education than a high school degree will most likely get the higher paying jobs. It is understandable since they probably have gone to school for it. These types of jobs are more women dominated. There are some men who are CNAs, med techs, etc. but men are usually working the janitorial or environmental jobs. Throughout my education career, most janitors have been men and there has only been one time where there was a woman working janitorial. At home when doing chores, the boys gets very little to none which most of the time is taking out the trash whereas the girls will do most of them. My baby brother likes to play with makeup and nail polish and my parents disapprove of this, they worry that it would affect his sexual identity. I disagree with them so I do let him play with makeup/nail polish to an extent since it can get quite messy. I find that the older generations are opposed of things such as this when it comes to boys. For the social construction of gender chapter, people were okay with the fact that girls can be tomboys. On social media, we see “everyday activism” which is acts that occur daily that “may reject or challenge oppressive practices” (157). There are people who bash on other girls and those who supports girls. Celebrities are also using their voices to garner awareness on certain things or voicing their opinions.